Author: TriWellness

Chronic Illness Burnout

Posted on by TriWellness in Uncategorized

Managing a chronic illness can be exhausting! There are so many components that need to be addressed in the management of a chronic condition from appointments, to procedures, to medication, to life in general, with the added stressors of today simultaneously all the while managing the physical sensations that the condition may cause. In my practice I like to use the following metaphor: 

In video games we start out with a few hearts and as we go through the game and defeat a boss, we gain more hearts. Now, lets just say that each person starts the day with ten hearts. A person with chronic condition(s) may have had a bad night and didn't sleep well, that knocks out possibly one-two hearts. Then they may wake up in pain (minus one-two hearts), attempt to do their morning routine while experiencing pain (minus another one-two hearts), perhaps they have kids and have to help them get ready for school (minus two or more for each child). Now they have to head to a big boss battle, perhaps it's a big presentation at work, at this point, however, they may have half to no hearts left to go into this battle. How are they supposed battle that big boss?

This is how it can be for someone with a chronic condition, and of course they feel exhausted after their morning routine, needing a way to replenish their energy. However, life can be demanding and may require one to operate with little to no energy. It is completely understandable the difficulty one may endure in the attempt to comply with their medical team’s recommendations. With competing demands how does one manage their chronic condition and whatever life throws at them without experiencing burnout?

Acceptance and commitment Therapy
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Hexaflex

In my practice I utilize the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Hexaflex points to assist clients to find direction and travel towards a person that they value. Using the Values point of the Hexaflex, I encourage clients to identify their values to facilitate a direction between the competing demands.

Another contribution to burnout, could be a consequence of having thoughts of past that could lead to depression which can further take a few hearts. Or perhaps it is a consequence of thinking about the future, resulting in freezing anxiety, and therefore consuming another few hearts. However, in placing one’s awareness in the Present Moment, can be energy replenishing. I encourage clients to practice present moment awareness by turning their focus to their five senses and how it can relate a sense of calm:

TasteWhat does the air taste like? Is it cool and refreshing or energizing?
SmellWhat does the air smell like? Is there a sweet floral scent, or does it smell clean and fresh?
SoundWhat do you hear? Is there birds that you can hear chirping or the wrestling leaves in the wind?
SightWhat do you see? Does the sun sparkle between the leaves wrestling in the wind?
FeelWhat do you feel? Do you feel the warmth of the sun on your face or chill of the wind as blows across your face?
Questions that I asked myself to engage five of my senses in the present moment to achieve a sense a calm.

Resources

Dr Russ Harris – ACCEPTANCE & COMMITMENT THERAPY

ACT Made Simple

ACT Extra Bits

This is a portion of energy replenishing exercises to combat chronic illness burnout. To learn more strategies or to discuss other demanding life stressors, contact us and we can assist you on your journey to wellness.

This month’s blog post was written by Aarti Felder, our specialist on managing Chronic Illness and Mental Health. To learn more about her, please check out her bio.

Remote Neurofeedback

Posted on by TriWellness in Uncategorized

Advantages of remote training

Train anywhere and on your own schedule while still under the supervision of a trained professional. You stay safe without sacrificing your training!

How we do it

Trained clinicians usethe Muse S band in conjunction with MyndLift to track and monitor your neurofeedback sessions. Utilizing the free MyndLift app on your Apple or Android device, you can choose your feedback for your session. You choose your session length to fit with your schedule and your feedback, we track and monitor your progress.

Packages

We offer various packages that works with your needs. Each package is a flat rate per three month increments with unlimited usage through that time. We work with you if you buy the Muse band or if you want to rent it from us (all rented equipment is sanitized using medical-grade solutions and is shipped directly to you).

Contact TriWellness today to learn more about our packages and start your training today

Resources

MyndLift

https://www.myndlift.com

https://www.myndlift.com/start-traininig-neurofeedback

Muse

https://choosemuse.com/how-it-works/

The Connection of Gratitude and Happiness

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This has been a weird year. So it is no surprise that it is a weird Thanksgiving today. Today we would normally would be gathering with our friends and family. But this year, some of us may be holding back from visiting the ones we cherish for various reasons. Or maybe some of us is gathering in small groups or outside. Either way you are celebrating Thanksgiving this year, it is completely understandable the feeling of heaviness. You may have that time honored tradition with your Thanksgiving crew, of going around the table stating what you are thankful for this year. However, this year may prove to be particularly difficult to finding reasons to be thankful. In this holiday special post, we will briefly discuss topics from Positive Psychology in regards to the connection of gratitude and happiness.

What the research says

Research has found that happiness can be derived in many ways, one being gratitude. In an experiment conducted by Dr. Robert A. Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough, subjects were asked to jot down a few sentences on topics spanning across the spectrum of gratefulness and irritability over the span of ten weeks. Dr. Emmons and Dr. McCullough found that those who focused more on topics of gratitude tend to be happier and even engaged in more healthy behaviors.

Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff found that a daily “Savory walks” led to increased happiness. Where Savory is defined as focusing on, appreciating, and increasing positive experiences. In their book, Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience, they discuss four types of savoring:

  1. Marveling, regulation of awe. For example marveling at the beauty of the Chicago skyline reflecting on Lake Michigan, and marveling at the vastness and calmness of Lake Michigan.
  2. Thanksgiving, regulation of gratitude. For example, yesterday I went to a local market to support local businesses, and the gentleman at the front gave me a pound of breakfast sausage to thank me for supporting their business, and I in turn, felt a sense of gratitude, thanking him profusely! (We just kept on thanking each other back and forth, despite not being able to see each others’ smiles under our masks!)
  3. Basking, regulation of pride. For example, when a first generation college graduate recalls their accomplishment while looking at their hard-earned diploma, and feeling a sense of pride, they are basking in their accomplishment.
  4. Luxuriating, regulation of physical pleasure. For example, feeling the warmth, and hearing the crackling of the fire in the fireplace has you sip a delicious autumnal beverage under a cozy, fuzzy blanket. In engaging all of these senses, you are luxuriating.

Express gratitude -> Increase Happiness

In her book, The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life you Want, Sonja Lyubomirsky, discusses eight ways to increase your gratitude. Her digest version can be found here, where she not only states eight ways to increase your gratitude, but also how it does. As stated on postivepsychology.com, some ways people express gratitude is remember the past fondly, being present and experience the joy that is right now, and be hopeful for what is to come in the future

So today, when it may not seem like it there’s much to be thankful for, perhaps taking a Savory Walk, or take note of the gratitude that may have occurred in the past, present, or the hopes for the future.

Some great resources to check out to help you experience gratitude

Positive Psychology Research on Gratitude

Positive Psychology books on Gratitude

Eight Ways Gratitude Boosts Happiness, by Sonja Lyubomirsky

Podcasts by Dr. Laurie Santos, Yale professor of the famous course, “The Science of Well-Being”

Harvard Article on Gratitude

Resources for Positive Psychology

We want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, and hope you are staying safe.

It certainly can be difficult to manage emotions and thoughts by yourself, if you need assistance from professionals, please feel free to contact us here.

This article was written by Aarti S. Felder, MA, LCPC, to learn more about her you can find her bio here.

Politics and Mental Health

Posted on by TriWellness in Blog

Politics is a very exhausting, ever changing field. The current American election seems to be the most high stakes event with no way to escape hearing about it. We are in a state of media oversaturation where very few places are free from the looming spectre of the political machine. This adds to the stress of the continued global pandemic due to covid-19. The compounding of this stress can have many effects on the mind and body including nausea, chest pain, weight gain, anxiety, and depression.

So where to start?

A place to begin is understanding why politics are so stressful. To begin let’s understand the stress response. When you encounter a perceived threat or fear, the amygdala reacts. The amygdala is a part of the limbic system that is responsible for anxiety, aggression, fear conditioning; emotional memory and social cognition. The amygdala leads to the activation of the hypothalamus which activates the sympathetic nervous system leading to the release of adrenaline and cortisol which regulates the flight, fright, or freeze response. This response is the reason for most of the physical symptoms of anxiety and fear. These include short-term symptoms like racing heartbeat, fatigue, upset stomach, spikes in blood pressure, and shortness of breath; or long-term symptoms like decreasing the immune response, memory issues, increased signs of aging, changes in personality, and cardiovascular disease. 

© 2015, Korean Society for Biochemistry and Molecular Biology

So what is it about politics that causes such an intense response? Well, part of it has to do with how the information is presented. Politics is a highly changed topic because personal is political. The things that a person values are directly related to the policies that they would be willing to endorse. This means that people often view political policies as directly relating to their identity which makes them more likely to have an emotional reaction to anyone who opposes a policy.

Another way politics are tied to emotions is how a policy is presented. An example of this is how Proposed Amendment to the 1970 Illinois Constitution is framed. This amendment, referred to as ‘Fair Tax for Illinois,’ proposes to change the flat rate income tax rate to a graduated rate similar to federal tax rates. When looking for information on this amendment how it is framed depends on the bias of the website discussing it. For example, certain sources against the amendment mention that while it is proposed that it will decrease taxes for 97% of people in Illinois, the elected politicians cannot be trusted with the money and will continue to increase tax rates when this fails. This is an example of catastrophizing, which is when there is a prediction of a negative outcome for a situation and then jump to the conclusion that if that outcome happened it would be a catastrophe. These websites use catastrophizing to look at the ways in which this amendment could fail to increase the fear response of the people that read their information. This framing of the situation in a way that elicits fears about specific things prevents people from critically examining other concerns that they may have about the new amendment.   

Political journalism, including the news, is intended to present political information in an unbiased manner, that is thoroughly fact-checked. However, many opinion-based websites and tv shows frame themselves as if they are political journalism and it is hard to tell the difference. There is also the bias often pops up on different news sources based on the parent companies and other sources of income from the source (this information can be found by searching through the About Us section of a website). All of this happens in politics before addressing the 24-hour news cycle, social media, increasingly partisan politics, racial tensions, and the continued global pandemic. Politics are often framed as an individualistic system where everything that can happen or go wrong is based on the decisions of individual people without looking at the systems that are in place to perpetuate this system. This is a compex, intersectional topic that is multifaceted and affects Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) disproportionally more than other populations, and leads to a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression. Mental health needs cannot be forgotten when approaching politics. 

So what can you do?

When it appears that the system is set up in a way to exhaust us physically and mentally, how can we approach this seemingly unending political season. 

Here are some suggestions to take care of yourself. 

  • Be mindful and aware of how you’re affected by politics is to acknowledge and take steps to adjust as you need
  • Accept whatever feelings are brought up in you when politics are brought up 
  • Unplug from the 24 hour news cycle and social media
  • Good sleep hygiene
  • Eat healthy
  • Exercise
  • Journal
  • Practice meditation 
  • Find spaces that validate your humanity
  • Get involved (if you can)

“Our democracy cannot be left in the hands of those who would rather watch or participate in a train wreck than stop it.”  

–Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw

Stress can be debilitating, here at TriWellness our clinicians are skilled in assisting each individual in managing stressors. Contact us today to start your journey to wellness.

References

https://www.healthline.com/health/stress/amygdala-hijack#overview

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2917081/

https://www.hartigdrug.com/blog/effects-stress-body

https://psychcentral.com/lib/long-term-effects-of-chronic-stress-on-body-and-mind/

https://ballotpedia.org/Main_Page

https://ballotpedia.org/Illinois_Allow_for_Graduated_Income_Tax_Amendment_(2020)

Click to access sia-mental-health-crisis.pdf

This month’s post was written by Jessie Duncan, the TriWellness intern. You can learn more about Jessie here.

EMDR and Interoception

Posted on by TriWellness in Blog, Uncategorized

Have you ever noticed that a certain thought, memory or experience can cause a physical reaction in your body? Our emotions are tied to this process. Noticing our body’s physical reaction is an important first step in learning emotion regulation. When you can identify it, you can begin to apply techniques to manage the distress  (See April’s blog, When “Just Breathe” Isn’t Enough). Awareness and sensitivity to the connection between cognitive activity, or negative cognitions as we refer to them in EMDR, and the body’s internal signals that accompany those thoughts or memories are an important part of the EMDR process.  

Interoception is the ability to identify physical sensation in the body, including the functioning of organs such as heartbeat, respiration and satiety, as well as the state of the autonomic nervous system (rest & digest, fight/flight or freeze). Take a moment and notice if your body feels pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. How do you know? Have you felt some tension in your shoulders ever since that guy cut you off in traffic? Did you just come back from the gym and notice that your heart rate is faster? Maybe you just spent some time doing one of your favorite things and now you’ve noticed that the muscles in your face have relaxed.

For a little practice “noticing,” the Pendulation technique created by Dr. Peter Levine, is a good starter exercise. To “pendulate” is to shift back and forth from one thing to another. Give the following a try:

  1. Do a body scan from head to toes and try to identify a part of your body that is distress free/neutral and focus on that for a moment. Does your breathing become more regulated, or your heart rate slow down?
  2. Next identify a part of your body that is uncomfortable or perhaps painful and focus on that for a moment. You may notice your breath, heart rate change or perhaps an increase in intensity as you bring your attention to it.
  3. Now shift your attention from the neutral part back to the uncomfortable part a couple of times. The uncomfortable part will likely begin to change, lessen in intensity or go away completely.

Now that you’ve practiced interoception, let’s move on to how this is an integral part of EMDR treatment for trauma. In October’s blog, Uncovering the Mysteries of EMDR and Trauma, I explain in detail how a traumatic event and the negative cognition associated with that event (exp. “I should have done something.”) leaves an imprint in the nervous system. The result is a whole slew of bodily reactions and sensations that can be activated in the future. Perhaps a completely unrelated and non-traumatic situation generates that same cognition of “I should have done something.” Due to the imprint that the previous trauma left, that negative cognition can conjure all of those same physical reactions, even when there is no danger. During EMDR, in addition to treating the traumatic memory, it detaches the associated negative cognition and discharges all of those physical changes in the body. During treatment I will frequently ask the client to do a body scan and tell me what they are noticing. Then we focus on clearing out the sensations that the client is noticing in their body. It may be a heaviness in their chest, nausea or a lump in their throat. Part of preparing for EMDR (phase 2) is teaching the client how to identify even the slightest changes in their body. The skill of interoception is incredibly useful in day to day life. Paying attention to how your body responds as you move through your day, from environment to environment and from one encounter to another. Listen to those cues and use those as a roadmap to create change and a lifestyle that is healthy and happy for you. And of course, seek out a skilled EMDR therapist to help you with the big stuff.

Resources

To learn more about Dr. Peter Levine and his work on Somatic Experiencing visit: https://traumahealing.org/about-us/

To learn more about EMDR visit:  http://www.emdr.com/

To learn more about our practice or wanting to connect with an EMDR clinician? Please contact us to set up an appointment.

This post was written by Tonya Nowlin, MA, LPC, to learn more about her please see her bio.

Dealing with a Chronic Illness During a Pandemic

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It’s difficult enough to cope with a chronic illness as well as coping with the stressors of a pandemic, however it can be even more challenging to manage both concurrently. During the pandemic we are faced with many unknowns: Who has the virus? Do I have the virus? When will this all be over? What’s next after this? These questions can cause anxiety, fear, confusion which can further exacerbate a chronic condition especially if the condition is particularly susceptible to the more severe symptoms of the virus. If this describes you, what can you do? As a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, I have found some of these strategies to be helpful in alleviating some distressing feelings and thoughts in my clients through the focus of mind, body, and spirit.

Mind

Thoughts, emotions, and the things we do are all interconnected and can impact our bodies. For example, if one has asthma and is experiencing tightness in their chest because they are fearful of catching the virus further intensifying their asthmatic symptoms and ultimately arriving to the decision to not engage in any activities, even in activities that are considered low risk. They can then feel frozen by their fear, leading to more feelings of anxiety and even depression in a vicious cycle.

In order to impact the cycle, one must examine their thoughts through different forms. Some of my clients find it helpful to journal their thoughts to allow a space to keep their thoughts rather than in their head. Others find it therapeutic to mediate and place themselves in a calm space to examine those thoughts.

Body

The body and mind are connected. As previously mentioned, in our mind we may have thoughts and emotions that affect our bodies. Whether it’s an individual with asthma who experiences anxiety in their chest and lungs or an individual with gastric issues experiencing that same anxiety in their gut, their emotions and thoughts impact their body.

This is another cycle that can be affected with physical activity. It can be difficult to get out of the house to go to the gym or maybe it’s impossible to socially distance yourself at the beach. However, clients have found the therapeutic impact of getting some fresh air by going for hikes in the forest where they can maintain social distance while also wearing a mask, if possible. Other clients found a sense of serenity in doing yoga on their balcony in their high rise.

Here is a guided walking meditation by Headspace that can provide a sense of tranquility through engaging the mind through mindfulness, body through walking, and spirit through the connection with the Earth.

Spirit

Each person may define their spirituality differently and may find different ways to incorporate their spirituality through rituals, gatherings, or any other way. Spirituality often involves the connection with someone or something outside ourselves. Engaging spiritual activities can be difficult during the pandemic, especially if you have a condition that makes you vulnerable to the virus.

We live in the age of spectacular technology with devices that allow us to connect with people all around the world in many different forums right at our finger tips! Utilizing such devices to connect with loved ones or to a community of like-minded individuals can be an effective way to connect with other people and embolden the spirit.

If you are introvert, perhaps the idea of connecting with people is not as appealing. However, taking notice of your connection with the earth beneath your feet, the air you breathe, and the beauty all around you and the universe can give you a sense of serenity in your heart.

The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.

Carl Sagan describes our connection with the universe.

You may also find other helpful strategies in our previous blog posts, check it out!

Some of the strategies that were discussed here can be difficult to engage without some guidance. These skills can be utilized as training activities in the gym where you are training to be your optimal self. If you find yourself needing assistance or interested in developing more skills, please reach out to us through the Contact Us page or give us a call.

This article was written by Aarti S. Felder, MA, LCPC, to learn more about her you can find her bio here.

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Healing in a Difficult Time

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Understanding what is going on

To begin taking care of your mental health, you need to understand the things that are affecting it. The two biggest events happening right now are the Black Lives Matter protests and COVID-19, and it is important to understand why these factors are affecting the mental health of many individuals.

The current protests began due to the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis, MN on May 25, 2020, after a police officer kneeled on his neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. George begged for his life and pleaded that he was in pain, could not breathe, and could not move, but the police officers ignored his pleas. The recent protests seem to be much louder and more widespread than they have been in the past and as a result, many are confused as to why there has been such a large worldwide response. This is because of a combination of factors, including the social isolation due to COVID-19 and the continued unjust deaths of Black and Brown individuals during the stay-at-home order (Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Nina Pop, and others).

It is worth noting that COVID-19 disproportionately affects people of color according to preliminary data released by the CDC. A couple of the reasons for this is the disparity in economic and social conditions that primarily affect people of color. This is due to how systems of education, government and the media celebrate and reward some cultures over others in ways that are often invisible. An example is how bandages come in “flesh-color” as pink/beige and this was unquestioned by a majority of people because white is the assumed default. A less benign example is the history of medical experimentation and poor treatment of black, indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) that lead to higher rates of diabetes, substance use, high blood pressure and maternal death during pregnancy.

Years of this injustice, along with social media as a means to reach others and organize, have led to the development of the Black Lives Matter movement. This movement began as a hashtag on Twitter in response to the acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murderer George Zimmerman in 2013. This organization, started by Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi, developed into a global movement that is spearheading our current protests. The purpose of the organization is to connect communities, intervene when there is violence against Black communities, and provide a space for women, queer, and trans people to be recognized for their leadership in the work of liberation.

Now how does this relate to mental health?

Due to everything that is happening, some people might be experiencing retraumatization from centuries of intergenerational trauma, especially Black individuals. This retrauamtization can have a significant negative impact on the mental health of those in the BIPOC community. Others may be affected by compassion fatigue or burnout when dealing with the grief and shared pain of other’s suffering. This can lead to shutting down or avoiding any distressing information or news. It is especially important that BIPOC take care of their mental health to be strengthened as a community and continue the fight for liberation. It is just as important that others who are sharing in the grief and pain felt by the Black community also find ways to manage their mental health to effectively be allies in the fight for liberation. This is a challenge, and many may feel lost and have no idea where to start. Here are some useful tips that can help with finding where to start your mental health journey.

So how can I approach mental health?

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

-Maya Angelou

In this challenging time it is important to find ways to practice self-compassion and allow yourself to find moments of peace. Some suggestions for approaching this are:

  • Cultivate hope, love, compassion, and joy
  • Listen to your emotions and accept what is there
  • Examine the greater cultural context and how your fit within it
  • Connect with others
  • Reconnect with your mind-body connection through healing practices

Another approach is through radical healing. Radical healing is a form of healing for people of color that recognizes that true healing happens when we are connected and aim for wellness at the individual, family, community, and societal levels.

Here are suggestions of ways to utilize radical healing to build connection and community:

  • Learn more about the issues that are affecting your mental health
  • Work on self-care and individual healing/Engage in Mind-Body Healing/Nurture your spirituality and practice self-compassion
  • Connect to others and be affirmed in your humanity and increase emotional intimacy
  • Connect to the deeper roots of your identity and culture
  • Learn more about your cultural and become curious about other cultures
  • Take action and actively work towards social justice; Take action to address racism and inequities when you can

By staying psychologically and physically healthy during this time we are able to direct our focus where it is truly needed without distraction. You have all the pieces, we are here to give you the tools to connect to them. Contact us today to begin your journey to wellness.

Helpful Resources

https://blacklivesmatter.com/herstory/

https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/29/us/george-floyd-new-video-officers-kneel-trnd/index.html

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/need-extra-precautions/racial-ethnic-minorities.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/experts/the-psychology-radical-healing-collective

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/06/the-story-of-the-black-band-aid/276542/

https://www.ama-assn.org/about/ama-history/history-african-americans-and-organized-medicine

This month’s post was written by Jessie Duncan, the TriWellness intern. You can learn more about Jessie here.

The Healing Power of the Divine Feminine

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The importance of the divine feminine

In mythology the divine feminine, usually represented by the Mother or the Goddess, connects us all to the sacred. Ancient societies saw the planet and all of life as sacred. Family was sacred, the earth was sacred, and all of life had meaning in the interconnected in the sacred circle.

In this circle of unity, women were revered as beautiful and powerful because they were the givers of sacred life. They were grounded in Mother Earth and connected to Father Sky, bringing children into the world through the power of their life-giving love.

Across all of humanity, a mother is the person who brings us into this world and who nourishes and cares for us from the very beginning. As we grow older, our mother is there to comfort us whenever we feel down. She is there to soothe, calm, and encourage us and chase away our fears. When we are nervous, scared, angry, or in pain, she is the person we look to for unconditional support.

A mother’s impact on a child’s development

When it comes to development, a mother is not a trivial matter. This bond is an indispensable part of human existence. With the potential to be one of the most powerful relationships in one’s entire life, it can shape other relationships one would create, including the one with the self.

The absence of a mother figure can have a significant impact on the development of the child. Feeling loved and valued by their mother helps a child to develop healthy self-esteem and build self-confidence, while an absent or unavailable mother can lead to insecurity. The extent of the harm will depend on their environment and how the situation is managed.  

An absent or unavailable mother can lead to several other emotional problems in children. A child may experience feelings of loneliness or worthlessness, if they don’t receive the care and affection they need. This can lead to anger or frustration. Additionally, a child’s social relationships may suffer. Whether due to lack of trust or because they have not learnt the necessary social skills, children who develop without an available mother may have trouble connecting with others. 

How to help a child cope with an absent mother

Despite all the above, there are ways to help a child cope with an absent or unavailable mother. A father, a guardian, or any other attachment figure can fulfill the role of a mother. Understanding and affection are critical, and it is important not to force the relationship. The bond will need to form gradually, on a basis of trust and love.

If the child’s mother is not completely absent, but for example, works long hours away from home, the situation may be much easier to resolve. Many studies have shown that the quality of shared time is far more important than the amount of time spent together. It is important to give the child full attention whenever it is possible. What is done together is less important: play, take a walk, or help with their homework. Just spending time with the child will help them to feel valued and supported. Children understand when their mother takes an interest in them, loves them, and supports them. It is this day-to-day presence that is critical for their development.

Honoring the divine feminine in ourselves

Whether we have a caring, nurturing, attentive mother or we grew up with longing for one, we all have the power to connect to the mother within. Regardless of who we are, the divine feminine energy lies within each one of us. It is beneficial to draw on this energy within ourselves whenever it serves us or has the potential to heal. 

Divine feminine energy represents the following aspects within the universe: 

creation, birth, renewal, healing, restoration, acceptance, connection, oneness, receptivity, nurturing, growth, understanding, insight, empathy, compassion, love, life.

It is understandable that in today’s world many have suppressed these energies in order to cope with the modern-day life. For example, it may be difficult to allow compassion into your life if you were raised to be competitive or number one, and you now expect yourself to maintain a competitive career.  At the present, however, humanity’s mental and physical health largely depends on making the space for these qualities to surface.  

Here are some suggestions that could help you tap into your divine feminine energies:

  • Access your creativity.  
  • Collaborate and connect with others. It can be profoundly healing.
  • Explore, question and heal your ideas and feelings towards the feminine and towards your own mother.
  • Examine your current perception of femininity in your family or culture.  
  • Listen to your emotions. 
  • Get in touch with your intuition. 
  • Cultivate openness, love, compassion and gentleness towards yourself, others and the world.

Harnessing the divine feminine energies has the transformative power to heal a world dangerously lacking in love, and desperately in need of mothering. It is within us all to connect with this energy.  

“Everyone needs to look to the divine feminine.  This is the dominant challenge that faces every society, and the future of humanity depends on meeting the challenge as consciously and as soon as possible.” 

– Deepak Chopra  

At TriWellness clinicians work with parents navigating parenthood through compassionate guidance. Contact us today to learn more about our services or schedule an appointment with a clinician.

This month’s blog was written by TriWellness intern, Madeline Sullenburger, a Master of Arts student at The Chicago School Professional Psychology. Madeline’s compassion is working with individuals utilizing the Feminist psychotherapeutic modality to guide her treatment process.

Happy Mothers’ Day from the TriWellness Team!

When “Just Breathe” Isn’t Enough

Posted on by TriWellness in Blog

It seems almost everyone is struggling right now in some way. I think it is safe to assume the COVID-19 global pandemic has brought major change to pretty much everyone in one aspect or another. For some the disruption is mere inconvenience, but for many the changes represent a major trauma. Wherever you fall on this spectrum, conditions are ripe for mental health challenges. Some of those challenges may bring intense emotions, intrusive thoughts, bodily discomfort, and possibly traumatic memories.  We’ve all been told to “just breathe” at one point or another. It can come across as diminishing or making light of the distressing feelings, as if it is a magic eraser or cure-all. While diaphragmatic breathing with mindfulness and intention can be quite effective, for some kinds of distress, it is not enough. The following are some exercises that can address disturbing thoughts, feelings, memories and bodily sensations/discomfort.

ENERGY SWIRL (Shapiro 2012)

Here is a technique that anyone can use.  It is from Francine Shapiro’s book, Getting Past Your Past:  Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy.  It is called the Spiral Technique (found on page 108).

 If you are experiencing upset or discomfort, try the following:

  1. Bring up an image that represents your discomfort.
  2. As you think of the image that represents it, notice where you feel the disturbance in your body.
  3. Now pretend that the feeling is “energy.”  If it was a spiral of energy, which direction is it moving in:  clockwise or counterclockwise?
  4. Now, with your mind, gently change the direction of the spiral in your body.  For instance, if it was originally moving clockwise, gently change it to counterclockwise.

Notice what happens to the feelings in your body.  For many people, their feelings will lessen as they change the direction of the spiral.  If one direction didn’t work, try the other direction and see if it lessens the disturbance.  If this has been helpful, practice this regularly so it becomes a stronger coping skill for you!

LIGHT STREAM (Shapiro 2012)

  1. Bring up some disturbing thought, feeling, memory or sensation and concentrate on the body sensations that accompany the disturbance. 
  2. Next bring a disturbing memory, situation, feeling, or sensation to mind and notice the resulting changes in the body sensations. 
  3. Now concentrate on the feeling in your body…. If the feeling had a shape what would it be? 
  4. And if it had a size, color, temperature, texture (exp. prickly), and sound (high or low pitch), what would it be?
  5. Which of your favorite colors might you associate with healing? 
  6. Imagine that this favorite colored light is coming in through the top of your head and directing itself at the shape in your body. Let’s pretend that the source of this light is the cosmos: The more you see, the more you have available. The light directs itself at the shape and penetrates it, resonating and vibrating in and around it. As it does, what happens to the shape, size, or color?
  7. As the light continues to direct itself to that area, you can allow the light to come in gently and easily fill your entire head. Now allow it to descend through your neck, into your shoulders, and down your arms into your hands and out your fingertips. Now allow it to come down your neck and into the trunk, fill your body, easily and gently. Now allow it to descend through your buttocks into your legs, streaming down your legs and flowing out through your heel. 
  8. Lastly, I’d like to ask you to become awake and aware on the count of five, four, three, two, one…

THE BASIC EXERCISE FOR VAGAL TONE AND NERVOUS SYSTEM RESET

The following is an exercise that can help regulate the nervous system, which can either become underactive (depression) or overactive (fight/flight/freeze) during times of distress. Toning the vagus nerve also activates the “social engagement” reward center in the brain, which we can all use right now.

  1. Lie down or sit upright comfortably in a chair with support.
  2. Gently roll your head and stretch your neck side to side, noticing and tension or pain.
  3. Interlock your fingers and cradle the back of your head at the base of your skull, supporting it as you remain facing forward.
  4. Moving only your eyes, look up and to the right as far as you can (may be some mild discomfort) and hold this position 30-60 seconds at a minimum, until you notice a sigh, yawn or swallow. This is a release of tension. You may feel a sensation of calm trickle down from your head like a waterfall.
  5. Once you notice this shift, come back to center.
  6. Repeat on the left side until you notice this same shift.
  7. Come back to center, take a deep cleansing breath. 
  8. Rotate your head and stretch your neck, noticing how it feels differently than it felt in the beginning.

(If you feel slightly dizzy, this is normal. It means you fully relaxed and your blood pressure dropped. Take a moment for this to subside before standing)

LEAVES ON A STREAM

This guided meditation script is a popular Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) exercise designed to diffuse negative thoughts. 

Leaves on a stream Guided Meditation Script

Imagine you are sitting or standing in the middle of a stream. 

The water is flowing away in front of you. 

Notice if there is any sound from the running water.

Notice if there are any trees, etc. on the banks of the stream.

Now see leaves floating down the stream away from you.

They can be any shape, color, or size. 

As the negative thoughts come into your mind, 

be aware of what the thought is, 

and then place it on a leaf.


Now watch it float away down the stream.

Do this with each thought as you notice it and for as long you like until you feel better.

As you acknowledge each of your thoughts,

you do not need to hang onto them. 

There is no need to become attached to the thought. 

Just acknowledge it and then place it on a leaf.
By watching it float away, it loses its hold on you and its intensity.

For more information on these techniques and others please check out:

  • Shapiro, F. (2012). Getting past your past: Take control of your life with self-help techniques from EMDR therapy. Emmaus, Pa: Rodale Books.
  • Rosenberg, S. (2017). Accessing the healing power of the Vagus Nerve. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.
  • Walser PhD, R. (2007). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for the Treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Trauma Related Problems. New Harbinger Publications.

If you find that your symptoms are unmanageable through these or other exercises, perhaps seeking the assistance of a licensed professional may be necessary. Most mental health professionals are offering telehealth services due to social distancing. TriWellness clinicians continue to offer services utilizing HIPAA compliant teletherapy services, contact us to schedule a free brief phone consultation today.


This article was written by Tonya Nowlin, MA, LPC. To learn more about Tonya please visit her bio.

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